OCD and the Holidays

So I've got a lot of catching up to do here.  I have a few posts circulating around in my head that I want to get out, so you will probably hear from me more often than usual for the next couple of weeks.  Thanksgiving is coming up.  The holidays are always a difficult time for me, because my OCD wants me to avoid, avoid, avoid.  For most family gatherings anymore, I come up with excuses so that I don't have to go anywhere.  Because frankly, I just don't want to deal with the contamination and the "after-effects"--being all of the not so fun compulsions that I go through afterward.  My husbands family gatherings are always out of town.  For Thanksgiving we typically make a 4 hour drive to his aunts house--that is an 8 hour round trip, with about 4-5 hours actually spent at her house.  It will make for an all day affair.  We make this trip every other year, usually, as we spend the alternate year with my side of the family.  There were a few OCD-free Thanksgivings where everything went "normally" for this occasion.  Driving up there, eating, coming back.  No issues.  Those were even fun times, that I enjoyed.  Then enter in contamination OCD.  About 4 years ago, I remember bringing my own food for the occasion.  I did not want to eat there, did not want to eat off others dishes or eat food that other people had prepared.  I brought some snack type stuff in bags for my daughter and I to eat.  There were a lot of people there, so it was somewhat easy to make it not seem so obvious that we weren't eating the food there.  We just mingled and went to different areas of the house.  2 years ago, we did not make the trip there (for reasons outside of my OCD).  My mother in law happened to be out of the country, and so we had my father in law over to our place for Thanksgiving dinner.  I can tell you it was a relief that we didn't travel there, but this time it was honestly for other reasons, which just happened to work out well with my OCD.  This year I am assuming we are supposed to travel again.  My husband hasn't said anything.  I don't know if that may be partly because he knows how much I'm dreading it.  Maybe part of him doesn't want to go too, because he doesn't want it to look strange when my daughter and I don't eat.  I really don't know.  That is purely speculation.  Nevertheless, there are many contamination issues I have now, that are new since the last time I traveled, and I honestly don't know how I will make this trip.  As of now, I have convinced myself that I'm just not going to go.  I actually am scheduled to work the 3 days after Thanksgiving (as my holiday weekend) at my job, so another excuse that I'm just too tired?  I don't know.  Here are the concerns I have about the trip:
   --Eating food that others have prepared (I absolutely can not do that)
   --Bringing my own food with (I don't want to look weird to others)
   --Sitting on their furniture and having my clothes contaminated (I could probably deal with this, if they didn't have cats, as I have been making marked improvement in this area.  Still I would need to come home and wash my clothes at least twice through the washer even if they didn't have pets.  Cats on furniture bother me, because they are in litter boxes and I feel like their feces is then on the couch and then in my clothes.  We have a dog at home, but she does not get up on the furniture.)  I'm not sure I could sit on their couch.  I feel like I would stand around all day for hours.  If I did sit down, I would feel my clothes were ruined and want to throw them out.  And I really don't want to throw them out.  I've been doing so much better in this area, it would be like a huge step back to have to throw them out, even due to the situation.
  --Eating off someone elses dishes.  (Can't do that).
  --Seeing my in-laws and family and knowing that people will be hugging, and I will just feel dirty.  Being cramped into a close space with a lot of people will really bother me.  People there might have colds or other viruses, and then there is no way to get out.  There will also be a couple of babies there, and they trigger me too.
  --And the new thing, that has never been an issue before, is the actual transportation to get there.  I don't want my husband driving my car, because I don't want him contaminating my seat with his clothes (see many previous posts if you're not up to date on this).  Meaning, I would have to be the driver the entire trip.  That part doesn't bother me so much.  What has happened almost every time we go here, is that his dad ends up traveling with us (sometimes both ways, but usually for sure on the way back), because his mom ends up staying there for a couple of extra days, since it is her family.  If his dad rides with us, I know my husband will want to drive so they can ride up front together.  I can not have my husband in my drivers seat.  I am also concerned that my in-laws might offer to have us ride with them, and I don't want to ride in someone elses's car.  Ugh.  This is too much work.
   --We would need to find someone to let our dog out during the day, if we are gone for 12 hours or more.  This would most likely fall on my parents.  I don't want someone in our house when I'm not here.
  --The last problem is the guilt I feel.  If we don't travel, I will feel guilty.  I will feel like I've let my husband down.  Like I've let the OCD win.  I will feel guilty that my daughter did not see our extended family for the holiday.

What to do?  What to do?  Ugh.  I hate OCD.  And I have a feeling it's going to win this time.  Sorry for the negativity.  I have been doing a lot better with my OCD in general lately, but it takes these types of things for me to put back into perspective, how much work I really have left to do.  The truth is, even though I'm pushing out small pieces of the OCD, the big issues are still there.

I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving!!