Oh my word! I can not believe my last post was in September. This was a terrible winter, for many reasons, and I am so glad that it is *hopefully* over, and now bring on spring! Winter always brings it with some additional problems for my OCD, as I'm sure it does for a lot of yours too. I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, and just generally feel more down and depressed during the winter months. This makes it difficult with the OCD, as the depression/OCD cycle is a vicious one. Also the dreaded cold/flu season makes it very difficult be out in public as I'm very in tune to every cough/sneeze that I hear, and generally try to hunker down at home as much as possible. This compounds the depression, because I'm not getting out and socializing and having fun, but rather just hibernating in my home and looking at all the same walls every single day. Sure, I make my grocery store trips, but that is honestly about it. We had another terrible year for flu season here, and I am so thankful that the levels we are seeing are much lower now, so I have been able to get out more and do things. And...the weather has turned here! Most winters here in the Midwest are cold, that is just a given. But honestly through the entire months of January and February, we had below zero wind chills almost daily, and constant snow/ice on the grounds. It was no fun. Even my dogs didn't get out much, and they were very keyed up most days and going stir crazy, which just added to the stress. My fibromyalgia also tends to act up in the winter, with the cold. This year was no exception, sadly. I had many flare-ups and just felt flu-like many days. But....I'm going to put this winter behind me. It's spring, and time to move forward again in many ways!!
I was looking through my blog statistics this morning out of curiousity. I'm getting close to 100,00 views. That's pretty amazing to think of, considering when I started this blog, I really wasn't sure if I would get any traffic. It's pretty interesting that blogger breaks down your audience and post views, so I can see what posts are getting the most traffic. My top 3 posts were regarding laundry routines, "the trail of contamination", and lack of spousal support. Wow! This resonates so strongly with me on many levels. First of all, my laundry routines were some of my darkest days, where my day truly centered around cleaning my clothes and making sure everything was properly rinsed afterward, sometimes taking up to 6-8 hours for a single load of laundry. I was triple washing many loads. Multiply this by 10-15 loads of laundry per week, and this was my life for a good year. I am so glad I was able to get myself out of that. It was truly miserable, and it honestly shocked me to see how many people viewed this post. It is heartbreaking to think that so many other people must deal with this same issue. Maybe not in the exact ways I did, but developing their own routines and trying to feel a bit more comfortable, meanwhile plummeting down into OCD quicksand. The "trail of contamination" was actually my #1 viewed post. After all, isn't this the whole crux of OCD. Developing safe zones, and making sure that the contamination we perceive doesn't spread. Jumping in with our cleaning/wiping compulsions, to make sure that everything stays safe, clean and comfortable. It is life-consuming as well. Although I am much better than I was in the past, I still have my safe zones. I probably always will. If I were able to eliminate my safe zones, my OCD would be gone. Lastly, I want to touch base on my lack of spousal support post. This one, I also couldn't believe how many views it received. It truly breaks me heart, that for most people with OCD, they absolutely do not have the support or understanding of their spouse. Sure, there are exceptions to that. And I firmly believe that for those that have spousal support, their outcome is likely better. But what do you do when you don't have spousal support? I have a huge post planned coming up for that, so stay tuned. I am all to well familiar with navigating OCD with absolutely no concern from your spouse. I am living that, and have, every day since I first developed this disorder. But I want you to know, it can be done. You are stronger than you think you are. I was able to start overcoming severe depression and almost debilitating OCD, by myself. Without any guidance from a therapist. Start reading about OCD, start reading about ERP therapy, get connected with someone else that has OCD (a support group, Facebook group, blog) that can help you and offer you support. I will be that person for any of you, you can always e-mail me at connectwithmyocdstory@gmail.com. It is truly my honor and privilege to talk to anyone that is struggling with this disorder.
Just kind of a wrap-up, since I haven't posted for awhile. I've got a few posts "in the works" coming up, and will try to be better about posting. Now that the weather is warming up and hopefully flu season is on it's way out the door soon, I will need to start planning some more exposures and getting myself back out there again. Hope you're all doing well!
