Wednesday, January 21, 2015
When you start designing your life around OCD
Real short post and topic today. This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Many of you who read the title of this post will get this right away....."Designing your life around OCD". Basically we are enabling ourselves to continue to live this way. It's finding little detours around the OCD, rather than facing the fears head on. I am very guilty of this. Although I've made a lot of progress with many of my OCD issues, I have really started designing my life around OCD. What does this mean, you ask? I will give one good example. I have the ability to work from home, so I do. I don't think my job necessarily wants me to work from home, but I am allowed to because they are typically short staffed and my work status is "casual"--meaning less than part-time. If they don't schedule me, then they don't have enough staff for the day, so they allow me to do my work from home. I decided to do this last summer, with the intention of it only being for a few months...until my OCD got better in control. But here we are in January, and I don't have any plan to stop this anytime soon. The work place is a horrible contamination trigger for me. Working in a pediatric office...sitting on office chairs, walking through hallways where people are coughing, wearing headset phones that other people wear, just being around a lot of people everyday. So many things, that I find it easier to avoid. I had to work in the office this weekend (because then they require me too) and I felt so dirty when I left each day. Just wanted to get home, hop in the shower and relax. I don't want to start feeling like that everyday again, going in to work. It's easier to work from home, and I'm able to do it..so I do. But then I am enabling myself, to allow myself to feel more comfortable. And that is not really helping me in the whole scheme of things, to get rid of this OCD. I also design my work schedule, the hours that I work, around my OCD. A little later start time, so that I have time to stop at the grocery store during non-peak time, after I drop my daughter off at school. Lots of examples that I could give. I suppose a good word for all this is still avoidance....one of the biggest OCD compulsions. What do you all think? Do you have any ways that you feel you design your life/routines around OCD?