tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180443944080254295.post1981970436739182570..comments2023-12-07T00:20:11.666-08:00Comments on My OCD Story: The trail of contamination/OCD train of thoughthopefulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02964188029918140725noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180443944080254295.post-16001865155454654722017-09-02T17:58:31.428-07:002017-09-02T17:58:31.428-07:00Hi I have the same problem. I am always afraid tha...Hi I have the same problem. I am always afraid that I peed in the shower by accident, even though I have never purposely peed in the shower. Now I throw out my clothes that I've worn because they "may have traces of urine" and I just throw em out. So tired of this :'(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180443944080254295.post-9467792449378682112017-06-11T18:41:25.981-07:002017-06-11T18:41:25.981-07:00Astro Ocean,thanks for your comment. This particu...Astro Ocean,thanks for your comment. This particular blog post is about 3 years old, but I still very much struggle with clothing contamination. I like to think I've improved some since this post, but the truth is that it still has very much control over my life. I do actually have my email address posted on my home page, it is connectwithmyocdstory@gmail.com. I would love to further chat there. Thanks!hopefulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02964188029918140725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180443944080254295.post-84649022389507923782017-06-11T13:03:05.618-07:002017-06-11T13:03:05.618-07:00I have such a long history (over 25 years,) of man...I have such a long history (over 25 years,) of many contamination types (including my huge share of clothing contamination). You want someone to talk to, please talk to me. I know EXACTLY what your talking about, I have been through so so so so much. Please respond to this message. Who knows, after that we maybe can communicate via email or something.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00982714165981107107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180443944080254295.post-12288841888025034612017-05-30T02:20:29.735-07:002017-05-30T02:20:29.735-07:00I hate ocd too i suffer from that too. Your story ...I hate ocd too i suffer from that too. Your story gives me hope and i hope my situation gives hope to you too.��Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180443944080254295.post-10520190018819604082015-02-09T00:01:27.846-08:002015-02-09T00:01:27.846-08:00Hi
I have same problems with clothing ans shoes. ...Hi <br />I have same problems with clothing ans shoes. But i tried wearing them<br />again. But though i feel relaxed and even forget that contamination,but<br />again after some time i feel the clothes are clean but once again new contamination hits and i give more severity to it or start protecting for new contamination other than original one and it goen onAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180443944080254295.post-5897565899659498382014-11-22T18:56:57.131-08:002014-11-22T18:56:57.131-08:00Hi! Just reading through your message here, sorry...Hi! Just reading through your message here, sorry its been such a long time!! Wow, it sounds like we have a lot in common with clothing issues. Do you have an email address that we would communicate with??hopefulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02964188029918140725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180443944080254295.post-37044888455307909002014-10-27T21:55:16.002-07:002014-10-27T21:55:16.002-07:00hi i have the same problem, ive had it my whole li...hi i have the same problem, ive had it my whole life and its even worse now. i dont think exposure therapy works, at least for me. What would work that i havent tried is to try to stop protecting my clothes. What youre doing, and what i do, is protect them from getting contaminated and it takes so much effort and its a losing battle. Ive tried protecting things forever - safe zones and the like- and it always gets ruined. What if you took out your best clothes and let them stay contaminated... imagine you were going to throw them out anyway... and then just keep those as the clothes you wear normally. so in essense your "best" clothes are now actually the contaminated ones. you can save a separate set of completely clean clothes for when u want to feel totally clean. also for me, the less I expose, rather than the more, makes me more open and willing to retrain myself to label things as contaminated from the beginning, rather than trying to protect it later on. I think ocd is all about being in control and protecting some things bc you cant protect yourself from other things in life that happen. at least clothes you have control over. but then you spend so much time/effort trying to protect them and more effort when youre upset they get contaminated. i havent tried my own approach yet, but i do know that when i wear already contaminated clothes i would have thrown out , then I feel a lot more comfortable knowing that im "done" protecting them because I already failed. i dont know if this will help, but id love to know if it does. Im actually a doctor myself, well almost, supposed to be studying for boards but just obsessing all the time about clothing contamination issues. id love to talk to you esp. if you think you can help me with my problems., Elliot. call718-436-0605 or text only 347-581-5862Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180443944080254295.post-61619253976785411022014-05-02T19:09:41.235-07:002014-05-02T19:09:41.235-07:00I understand about the handwashing/washer and drye...I understand about the handwashing/washer and dryer situation--I also hand washed all my clothes for a really long time, which as you know, gets really time consuming and tiring and old. Out of all the exposures I have done, being able to wash and dry my clothes has been one of the most positively life-changing. I think one of the characteristics of having severe ocd is that it happens to very bright people. I know that for me, I figured I could handle it on my own, which obviously was not the most successful plan. I live on the opposite side of the country and have never even been to Nebraska, but I'm going to do a little research for you. It might be good to recognize, as you already have, these new obsessions, like with the trash can. I've found that catching the new ones early and refraining from rituals right off the bat makes it sooo much easier. Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10315632629477590150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180443944080254295.post-6708726648015922852014-05-02T12:35:38.028-07:002014-05-02T12:35:38.028-07:00Hi! I am able to use our washer, but not the drye...Hi! I am able to use our washer, but not the dryer. The dryer has felt contaminated to me for a long time since my husbands clothes go in there and I feel they are dirty (even if they are washed), I do not use the dryer for my daughter and my clothing. I line dry everything of ours, which started out as a real pain, but of course with a lot of OCD rituals...you just get used to it over time. I cannot do laundry when he is home (because I am obsessed about toilets flushing while the laundry is going and I hide this from him), so I do all my laundry when he is gone. He is gone a lot between work and other things, so its been easy to hide my OCD from him for a long time (at least how bad it is). I used to put his stuff through the washer, but now I don't even do that. I handwash all of his clothes, which really bothers me too. As far as the clothing feeling contaminated, I believe you hit the nail on the head. It's always the "what-if's". When I KNOW what has happened to the clothes, I feel better laundering them. But if I don't know, and my mind starts going in a hundred different directions I just feel they are contaminated. They just feel dirty to me, like washing will not really clean them. I never had clothing contamination problems before last summer. It started when my niece touched my outfit one day (and she always has a runny nose), and I started to become much more aware of stuff that could get on my clothes. For example today I took the trash outside to our outside trash can, and as I was flipping the lid down to put the garbage bag in, some dusty stuff appeared to fly off the garbage can and I started worrying about what it was and if it got on my clothes. Right now I feel contaminated. I took off my lightweight hoodie, and am just now wearing my T-shirt under it. As I mentioned in my last post, the last time I felt contaminated I threw out every single thing I was wearing (including bra and underwear!) I don't feel I should throw out my bra again, especially as I mentioned above how many I've been replacing lately. A lot of times if I feel I must wear something again after its been contaminated, I find myself washing it multiple times through the washer. I did check the ocdfoundation website and I'm not sure if there just aren't any therapists in my area, or if the page just never loads properly, but it doesn't pull anything up. I know I need to start making some phone calls and start getting some help. I agree with what you said above to, I am smart and feel like I totally know how to treat OCD, I just can't get myself through it. I feel like I could probably design a program for someone else by now! :). I live in Nebraska in a fairly big city (225,000 people). You'd think that there would be an OCD specialist somewhere. I am an RN and work in an office where we have child psychologists that deal with OCD, so I actually know/see a lot of patients that have this disorder. My heart hurts for them too! I can't imagine having this as a child. My OCD didn't start until I was in my mid-20's.hopefulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02964188029918140725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180443944080254295.post-70926066911184305202014-05-01T20:44:50.109-07:002014-05-01T20:44:50.109-07:00Glad to read your reply. I've been a little wo...Glad to read your reply. I've been a little worried about you.<br /><br />Hmmmm personally I agree with you instead of Grayson when it comes to the ERP thing. I prefer a slower pace myself. I agree that making a hierarchy is a great idea. There were times when an ERP ended up being too much, so my psychologist would help me break it down into smaller bite-sized pieces. She always recommended working on something that was like a 6 or 7 out of a possible 10. At the very beginning, maybe start even lower, just to get some success under your belt? And don't minimize any success, no matter how small. The idea is to move forward, no matter how little at a time.<br /><br />I don't recall what state you are in, but you might want to see if there are any expert centers there that will do Skype treatments. Teaching hospitals are always a good place to look. Also, I have a link to a Behavioral Therapist's national site on my home page. That might also be a good place to look.<br /><br />Yes, OCD sure can be lonely. I'm so glad to say that it doesn't have to stay that way!71º & Sunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09981113989131619635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180443944080254295.post-21995370334687580142014-05-01T08:27:05.029-07:002014-05-01T08:27:05.029-07:00Thanks for your thoughts! I don't think I cou...Thanks for your thoughts! I don't think I could do residential treatment, I know I couldn't. I am hoping to start looking for a therapist and starting some treatment this summer. Hopefully I can at least get a grip on things and start "expanding" my life a little bit more piece by piece. I agree though, I could definitely benefit from residential treatment, I probably am a good candidate for that, but I know I just can't do that now. The suggestion for Skype treatment is great! I checked into LA center and they will not do Skype treatment for those outside of California. I'm not sure if Dr. Grayson's center will or not. You had replied to my comment on your blog about the center in Philadelphia too. I have read his book 'Freedom from Obsesive Compulsive Disorder" and I start reading it am getting along fine until he starts talking about immersing yourself in the contamination. The thought of thought just puts me over the top! I realize that I need to take much slower steps, but I'll never get there if I don't start making those baby steps. I need to sit down one night and really spend time looking at my fears and write out a hierarchy and start trying some very low exposures. For instance the thought of touching my husbands clothes, then rubbing my hands all over my face, my clothes and my hair about sends me over the edge! There is no way I could do that right now! Even the thought of touching a paper towel to his clothes then putting the paper towel on a countertop and just not wiping the counter clean bothers me, but if I HAD to choose one....of course I would choose the paper towel, because then its not direct contact. Maybe those are areas which I need to start really small in. Doesn't sound like much progress, but like I said I'll never get to the big stuff without going up the ladder of exposures. I am also sorry that you have to deal with this illness. Reading through so many of your older posts I can relate so much to what you have said. It is isolating, it is lonely and it robs you of your life!!!hopefulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02964188029918140725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180443944080254295.post-57505955244277358062014-04-29T22:23:39.776-07:002014-04-29T22:23:39.776-07:00Oh my goodness, I am so sorry this has happened to...Oh my goodness, I am so sorry this has happened to you. I have lived this. <br /><br />Are you able to use the washer and dryer? Do you know what it is about the clothing that makes them "contaminated" or is it just that they feel contaminated? I am not always successful at this, but it find that when I start asking myself "what if" questions about clothing contamination, I disregard the thought because that is all it is--what if--you have no idea if that actually happened or not, and you can tack a "what if" on top of pretty much anything. It sounds like your husband contaminating things and your cycle of replacing clothing is just spiraling out of control, as I'm sure sunny (above post) and I have both experienced. I just want to encourage you again to check out the ocdfoundation website and try and get in contact with them to find a specialist, even if you have to drive out of town like I do. It is worth it. It has truly, truly, truly raised my quality of life and frankly, saved it. I cannot express that enough, as someone who was so resistant to this idea and thought I could never find my way out and no one could help me because it was so bad. My heart is just hurting for you right now with the clothing stuff. Also think about the pros and cons of living with ocd as you are now (and most likely it will continue to get worse) or trying treatment and potentially raising your quality of life. I started my blog five or six months into my treatment--there were many, many exposures that I had completed before my first post, and many details that were left to exposing just how consumed I was. Another thing about ERP (exposure and response prevention) is that YOU get the controls--your therapist cannot make you or force you to do an exposure. That has helped me immensely. Will you please make that call or even let me know the state where you live and I can see if I can find someone for you through the OCDFOUNDATION? Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10315632629477590150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4180443944080254295.post-80807701839629759912014-04-29T21:29:23.671-07:002014-04-29T21:29:23.671-07:00Yes, I too have struggled with clothing contaminat...Yes, I too have struggled with clothing contamination. Over the years I have thrown out a TON of stuff, both clothes, shoes, and other things. In my experience, the way to beat clothing contamination, is, unfortunately to start wearing some of it, and eventually wearing it IN your safe places. Oh I know about safe places too. To some degree I still have them, but I'm not nearly as fanatical about keeping them clean and perfect anymore.<br /><br />So, my overwhelming thought while reading your post is that you desperately need professional help. You are suffering so incredibly much and I think you need someone to help lead you out of the woods. Would you consider residential treatment? I suggest this because you've said that there are no experts in your area, perhaps residential would be helpful, because you could get top notch intensive treatment to really help you get a handle on this. I know that is probably a frightening suggestion to you. But frm what I have personally experienced and seen, this will not go away on it's own. Or maybe Skype treatment, like I suggested in my latest reply to you on my blog. I know these things are expensive, but so is throwing out tons of clothes and other things. I did have to spend a lot beyond what my insurance paid, but my life is so much better, that I believe it was more than worth it. Anyway, just wanted to share some thoughts with you. I'm so, so sorry you have to live with OCD. Oh how I hate that illness!71º & Sunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09981113989131619635noreply@blogger.com